A Journey to Your Life

One hazy morning , it stuck me like chilly wind in the face,where am i going, which way is this. 
Yes i realized i was in my car driving one foggy morning  and also that i was not a new place, i had zoomed through this patch a hundred times now not thinking about it for a second. But this question was more for me rather than whatever that i was going to do actually that day. 
Felt like a metaphor of my life that very moment , thinking where is this headed to ? This everyday get up - go to work , come back home - sleep routine is all for what ? Where will i reach by running in these circles. I guess better at work , better job , better pay , better places to visit. But actually where is all this headed ? 

Who knows , we all just go thought this experience called life , just to get through?? That wouldn't be right, Its supposed to mean something i believe. That's what i have heard. 
Waiting for that meaning to come.To be frank getting a bit doubtful now , if it really does exist. 

One time , some time back , I did feel like i had met the meaning of my life , to have great friends. 
yes , don't laugh , I have had great friends and I , for once felt , my use , or my point if being in this world is due to a reason that i make good friends and gel with all the people- Mostly ! That's where i felt connected and completely at home.
Felt good to be the agony aunt at times and let me accept am pretty good at it. 

Then it passed like another phase in life. Not that i do not make good friends now , i do , but something is missing and i feel it. 
I don't know how many phases are there to pass for me to finally meet that reason am here. 
They say you do not get a human form that easily ,one should make up for it and be good and what nots. 
I guess you will never know until its passed. Thats the irony i see. 

Lost

For the world I am free

For my thoughts am guarded

Caught in the web of ideas and notions

Struggle to find myself and the mind

Lost in details and in a  bigger picture than i can see

Trying to make sense of this loosing and gaining 
In the deep thoughts and yet nothing on the mind

Instead of living , passing life.

Friends at a distance

People around

Left myself in the whole turnaround

Don’t have anything to say , just listen

Silent with so many noises it doesn't even reach my ears. 

THE POWER OF NO

Sometimes its just needed to be expressed not just for the sake of an expression of choice  but a matter of self discovery , Justice and Confidence. 

But these two letters are just not easy to use sometimes. 

During the day, I sometimes wonder how important are the choices that we make and the dilemma of using the correct and appropriate of these two words is the deciding factor of where you might land later.
Of the thousands of choices we make in life, what you say yes and no to decide your path forward. 
Recall all the decisions you made - All you can think of right now. If given a do over , will they change?

♥

From shores to the sea
From your heart to me
Distance is too small
For you to see 

But hold that close somewhere
The hope of meeting  someday somewhere
Walking the path of this loaded life
With all the twists, turns and left behinds
I look for the ray that showed me the way
To meet you ! Amazing is
The fact that this did happen too

Cant  pretend and  be strangers
Oblivious to whats been with us 
We stand amazed as others fly
Holding hands into the lives
They wished they always had , like us ,
Being the  home for each-other
What is this path these all walk past
Hand in hand with  a shiny smile

Is it a reality or just a mirage
Seems unreal to just take the chance
They say it comes when its your turn
Confused we both still look at eachother
Feel  as pieces of puzzle 
Scared of  finding they dont fit
Still , unable  just turn walk away from this
Unsure of whats right and wrong 
Walk a mile , you realize you had to turn ?

Thoughts , confusions and doubts arise 
For what the future be might 
Missing you is pain , but  loving you doesn't seem sane
Wish to stretch my hands , but what if i don't find you there 

Its a big word i know ,
Even bigger world we are from
Choose the world you want to be on 
The one you are from , 
Or the one you can create unknown
Every child needs a fairy tale to sleep 
Children are  now scared to dream 
The world we are from doesn't believe
It weighs and compares and measures some more 
On the standards of odd contour 

It pushes each in their line of controls 
To stay and follow the line you are made for 
Wonder even if the world looses 
The lines it made in our minds just wont 
The world might just be ours then 
But not the rules of  control 
So deep in the system like in the blood stream
What if we sit in the same scene 
The world could win , even when it might loose
The rules stay same , when the thoughts diffuse. 

Reached a point of no return , make a decision and hold it firm
And as they say que sera sera  , 
No matter what will be, what will be, will be !!

Ray of dear hope

For best , for the very best you can ! HOPE ! 


A logic less plunge of the heart or mind (whatever works for you better) but the hope is the same feeling of wishing and believing it can happen for you. 

The hope that makes you try yet again after you have fallen, hurt , tired , cheated, tricked, reeled into the condition of asking yourself "what if  i don't". 

Hope for the better tomorrow, hope for a better time! The unending and ever urging of the chance to yet again get hold of yourself and prepare for what good has to come your way. Not just let it brush past you while you are just busy complaining why it never finds you! 

The hope of a friend - another heart that understands what it is to be you! Hope of a guide to help you understand it isn't messed up as you think it is ! A teacher to tell you this can be solved and you are much more than you think you are ! The hope of light that just shines on you when there is no one to look for. 

The hope that there is a power above you and whoever them are they will take care of you. Hope of child that a loving couple wait for :) 

The tiniest possibility of something better and good is just enough to muster all your courage, positiveness , happiness , good in you to go and take that chance to have it in your life! 

Someone asked me the other day - is everything fair in love and war! love yes! war no ! The hope for love is far more stronger than the hope for war. For that matter anything for love is far more stronger, pure, positive and fulfilling than anything for war. 

The hope of curing a cancer is so dear to the mother whose child suffers! 

No matter how bad the world might seem to be , do not let go of that hope! It might be the only thing ensuring you stay human and no longer a logic machine.

Its a experience that will enrich you anyway it goes! they say you need to live to have a life! so live  and know for sure you are alive ! 


fingers crossed xoxox 

Mirage of Independence

Independence ! Freedom !

Concepts are fascinating but the meanings and interpretations seems numerous.We may be free in terms of a country from a foreign rule but the Freedom and Independence are complicated and diversified in its meanings  as its peculiar to everyone.

The freedom has to be absolute to know what it brings.
Independence feels like a word we all are trying to prove.
The irony is that nor the freedom is absolute and neither  the independence complete.

If we could have this absolute freedom what shall one do ?
Some of us would go insane thinking what to do with it now, some would just be happy and content that we have it.
Even if we are not to use it or intend to do anything about it it's just a feeling of having it that is a satisfaction enough !
Freedom to be everything and anything we want to be, to be free in thoughts, free in mind and spirit. We do not realize in everyday how much of this freedom is really not there.
There might be freedom to try and be anything you want to be but it isn't happening for everyone. We are being told you cannot have everything!!

We are not even free in our thoughts - we do not have a control over anything we think!
Its our mind but what relays through your head as soon as you gain consciousness in the morning the thoughts hit like a wave.
Like you have no control over what you think too now!

That's scary .

Seeking happyness !

Empty like a shore

Quiet like no sound was heard here ever before

Darkest than the coal,  this time is just so pure

When all comes to rest , quiet comes to speak

Listen to it with your heart, It’s the only time it speaks

Voices that are out, block the voice within

At the  place near sleep and peace , they meet!

Listen to the needs of such a  space

When your -self asks you for some self- space

Let it breathe and show it some sunlight

It will brighten you and your day to day life!

Do the cent  and keep nothing to yourself

Indulge a little and live everything that comes your way

And then its comes a circle full!

Beautiful, serene ,satisfying and peaceful

Meaning of life is mystery – for all

Lets Live it first ; decide about it afterwards

They say there are bound to be hit and trials in life

Hit the trial before you count the doubts

No one knows for sure, what is that we are here for

You take your way as it goes, Let them decipher the codes

Walk and you will reach, sow and you will reap

In the end, your way will be truly yours,

Thought , felt, belived and walked

That will be the story for you

One that truly belongs to you!

Question – will that make you happy too??

J

Happy Hearts and Prayers !!

Heart is full of happiness, warmth and blessings,

See you met the shore you always belonged to,

Amazingly beautiful to love someone in life

Truly a blessing when you belong and hold on

The happiness fills the eyes , heart and soul

To see you have all you desired and more

Its a miracle to find and hold on...

Am elated that you have gone beyond...

Perfect as a fairy tale of the past

Looks like was always meant to last

In the sea of broken hearts and souls,

Its a silver lining for the clouds to hold

Promise of the times and ties

When its real it never dies...

Wishing on the star shining bright...

There is hope for the ones in line...

Wish, hope and convey my best

A tear with a silent prayer

There may be nothing perfect out there

But this isn't less than perfect in any sense...

The Path

A roadway leading to where?

Long in the distance

I watch, with doubt and fear

Things moving as fast as the wind

Swirling around as something might just appear

Absent minded i watch the crowd

Walking, running, on the tracks they are bound

Is it the road, the way or the human mind 

What is the one looking to find-SOMETHING?

Wonder if walking the same path

Do all feet go along the same path?

The quest is to live from inside to out

What matters is -what is "in" than whats "out"

Still when walk the roads as other feet too

Don't you join in, the race you didn't suppose you would ?

Just like you never knew what came upon you

Before you know there were thousands around like you.

The insecurities of the mind plays on the heart

Drift you away from the part

Part that you had of you

Left in the Centre of you !

War All The Way

Walls around again and again the quest began

Every mirage looks jus like its all completely here

Living it like it wont ever end for you ?

Makes me wanna laugh what a mess we all are into

Real, truth,love and respect

Meanings are lost words are left

World is a mirage we see with closed eyes

Lost meaning of being human and nice

Pretence are all that are all around

When everyone hates lies, disloyalty and fooling around ?

To be or not to be is a all time quest

Leave the fact that its a matter of heart

All i can say is hey, just take care

Mad at the inner world or is it the outer

For sure there is a difference and it deepens

They stand face to face and stare me in the eye

Whats right decision, which way is mine?

Life is strange and people are stranger

They don't match here , far or the near ones

One side is the world and on other, always me

Life , Heart

Right is what and where should it lead

Too much at stake or playing too safe

Questions make me wonder and sometimes i dare

Unsure of the future and so living for today

The circle completes and am back to where i stay

They say rebellious nature cant sit suppressed for long

Its a matter of moments and the voice will be heard far and strong

Confused as it may sound, is the actual state of my mind

To be or not to be, what to be is what i wish to find

Its a Matter of Life and Death !!

Every day we live with the same lifestyle, wish for things to own, things to have , targets to achieve, destinations to reach ...but in all dis hustle bustle, we somehow manage to ignore the thought of eternal truth.

Its a matter of life and death , is a common phrase that we use sometimes in our fast moving lives. this phrase has a lot of meanings for me .....

Starting from the start, matter of life and death usually corresponds to our consistently demanding jobs and working hours, our study and career in general. Sometimes we use this as 'oh come on this is matter of life and death'. the phrase explains itself..The thing is of utmost importance, is not even next to survival. So somehow i believe we understand that this so called matter of life and death is the utmost importance and is a major thing in our lives.

Suddenly i see things clearly, this matter of life and death is the TRUTH.

Something you cannot deny, something you have to face no matter what, even when you think you are prepared for it...and even when you are not. The meaning of life and death is such core of our existence that we just cant think of living without it, because the matter of the fact is , that it starts from the moment we are conceived. The first spur of life that does wonders for human race...and the miracle story flows.

As in a story all the time, there is a start and there is an ending. rest is just the story.

I feel the same about our weird lives.

There is a definite start and there is a definite end. Sooner or later the end is going to be here and the mystery is that you don't even get the chance to know when this end would stare you in your face. You will have no time, not even to say your goodbyes.

At that moment, even when you don't know whats going to happen, but still somewhere you feel like, i wish i could have said what i really felt about the people i love. I wish i could have been a better son, daughter, wife, friend...... I wish i could have got the chance to say good bye and best of luck to my young sons who would take on life . I wish i could thank my loving wife for her consistent support during the life i spend with her, even when she knew i wasn't always right. 
I  wish i could hug my brothers tight and tell them that i care.
I wish i could have told my mom, i didn't mean the rude words i used once.I wish i had some more time to see the celebration of lives in my house....if i would have known......i would have done things better.........

Isn't it that we all already know? That its going to end someday for sure.....Someday you might sleep , not to get up again? Scared of sleeping now.....and feel so restless as if the sand of time is running low and i don't even know how much is left up there. I just wanna catch hold of every adored person of my life, no matter how special they are or were at some point of time....and just saying whatever i wanted to.....

This life is too short to fight man. Too short to have differences, its the matter of life and death.!!!!!

Just live like there is no Tomorrow

It Always Amazed Me

Remember walking on a street and watching a "such normal looking" couple pass you ....Where sometimes you feel....man! What makes them stay together?

Sometimes the girl is too beautiful,smart, attractive (choose the 1 you want) and with a guy who is a normal ,average looking, or the other way round when the girls drool over the guy who is with such a normal looking girl.....

All of them just gaze in awe at what makes them stay together....

In our fast pace lives, meeting someone so special is a quest for some, for some of us its a special thing which we just wait for to happen. some of us even go out there and take chances of kissing a lot of frogs/ female frogs to reach that prince/princess. no matter what you do...What you believe in , but am sure when we look at a happy couple walk past us, all that comes to mind is how!!!!

No matter how you think about it, and how you feel about having someone in your life....more so even if you don't feel like having someone in you life....still somewhere that WHY and HOW stands up when we see two normal,average looking people in love (supposedly). 

What do you think you need ? Actually let me rephrase, what do you think you need more?

This love business is far too complicated for us humans i guess. We have a society to hinder our thoughts. in animals its simpler. You have a male and a female. a male can like a female but doesn't have to worry about commitment! They can just stick around for as long as they want to. Then when they are done with the attraction, infatuation n whatnot(sometimes i feel we humans complicate things for the heck of it) can just go around and start a new family. 

Those who stick in such mess of relations are love i guess.

 Love is about freedom.

 Freedom of being happy. 

Wherever this happiness takes you.

I guess people (i mean the old ones) who say that love is not meant to be for every one is actually right and i guess people realized it in the starting of the civilization. That's why they invented the marriage business...little did they know they were adding complexions the matter altogether. They might have realized that man is never content. Wants more from life at every level and form. As a child, mothers attention, nutrition, love, care isn't ever enough.

It can never be enough for a person i guess. So when we say people are in love, how come they are content? If they are,  and if they are not content then what makes them stick around?

From what i could gather from talking to people who are in love( at least according to them) is that its not the way the person looks that matters to stick around a person. What matters is that how they make you feel about yourself. How do u make them feel about them....If that's something that can be peculiar, then i guess there is no reason why someone wont like to be with someone even if they have to do the impossible.

Man is a fool....Always has been. 

Fool to look for happiness when he knows that its not permanent. Fool to think of finding someone exact same way he dreams someone to be. 

To think he can find happiness in the rules of the hypocrites regulations and rules of the society.....

I guess our slow changing society (sometimes i feel like if it is ever moving in anyway.....) needs to make some freedom for a individual ...and sooner or later things will have to move

And  i m a optimistic for believing that..................

Life..Times and More

The curious case of Benjamin Buttons.


I am a regular movie buff so to say. I have just realized this utmost interest and the hunger for more from films that i have been watching from some time. My family at times nags me for sitting on my PC for too long, as for the records i already wear specs. They worry am gonna shift to bottle bottoms if i work on the same pace.

The idea of the movie mentioned here created my interest to see how well the director can depict the complex nature of the character, who is growing younger with time. We all are used to seeing our actors age in the movie but this was the other way round. Interesting i thought. I guess all the mentions in Oscars and the talk about the movie are genuine. they say its THE movie.

I recently had a conversation with a friend and topic came to movies. He mentioned this one is a must watch, tells you a lot about life.

Well when i think about it, first of all Brad Pitt isn't just a glamorous red carpet eye candy. The ACTOR....is the ONE i guess who could do this role. I dont even think i would like to see someone else playing Benjamin.

If you are expecting a review on this movie...I guess you try some other blog and you  might not sleep today if you start reading them...They are sooo many.

What i have here are the moments, that as a person I could live with the movie.
It takes your breath away at times. while half way through, I felt like running to my loved ones and hugging them tight. Wanted so bad to call up friends and say i love them.

The moments in ones life when we grow? I guess .....The moments you dream about having as part of your life..The moments of having someone who cares, a mother when you don't have one, a Friend when you  are too old , a child, a partner....this story says A lot.

I guess life isn't what we all think it is. We are living it everyday, making it pass away so easily when we should actually be doing so much in the time we have. You never know whats tomorrow. I dont know about others but as me, as i see it, sometimes just take things as usual....i guess that's not a way to live. Living isn't about just letting dates and years pass. Its about doing so much in them.....that when you get old and just before you die.....you say....what an amazing life this was.

The Aim of Life!!

Yeah!! I m haunted by the same question as many of us. May be not in the way i have felt it, but in some way or the other all of us have gone through this way of questioning our AIM in life, work, and basically existence in this world!


From what i see and perceive, this question has a lot to ask and a plethora of answers to be given.it means different for each of us. the aim might be the same - the pursuit of happyness as i see it However ,  the ways and forms in which we all pursue it are different altogether.
Then what is Right?

haha i can only laugh at that,  because right and wrong are too superfluous words in our life.
What would you say is Right?  When you aim for something, when  you believe in something its obviously right to you, may not be right FOR you , but seems right to you.
So who decides?

YOU!

I see this YOU as someone who is brave enough to think independently, decide what he/she believe in regardless of the fact what the rat race is all about! The aim of life is all about YOU!
what you want from it?
what you make of it?

For a business man, if money is everything, he will make money no matter what. Where does your right and wrong go? Its his aim to aspire for monetary gains.
A labour workers aim is to feed his/ her children better, have a income everyday to ensure food at home.

Our aims are different and so are we. life is what happens when we are living with numerous of YOU working toward the AIM in life. We clash .We aim for new things .....but my question is what is that all of us want?? Money cant buy you everything, nor does the lack of it provides a solution in real life. so what is that counts?

HUMANITY!!

The Statue Story!

Just came across a simple story.


A gentleman once visited a temple under construction where he saw sculptor making an idol of God। Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised he asked the sculptor,

"Do you need two statues of the same idol?"No," said the sculptor without looking up,
"We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" asked the gentleman. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol."said the sculptor, still busy with his work."Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high."If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked.The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said,

"I know it and God knows it!"

Moral - The desire to excel should be exclusive of the fact whether someone appreciates it or not.
Excellence is a drive from inside, not outside.
Excel at a task today - not necessarily for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction.

The New Rules of the Civilised Society..Aha!

Oh man! I cant really stop myself from laughing my cynical smile when i hear the "secular" Ram Sene's version of the " Indian culture" and how Indian women should not be allowed to drink in pubs in India. I just watched the version of some politically secular party who seems to care for the Indian culture.Their point are that girls should not go to pub as they can potentially get 'Man handled' as the guys can loose their control after they drink and its not in the INDIAN culture for the women to drink as women are the Devis. They fear that it will erode the future for the persons morality or something....i cant really believe that people are saying it...honestly i m not surprised....Indian culture....is a big word for me to even touch upon but i can surely comment on what i have seen around me.

Women here are not even considered human according to me, let alone the fact that they were Devis some centuries back. Some time back i had the occasion of hearing Mr. Javed Akhtar in my college`s founder day, and i remember him taking up this point. He said "I was born on 17 jan, and my mother was respected from that day forward. the point is was she respected on 16th jan?? was the respect because of me? was she basking in my glory? if that is the case then i must say we are in a bad situation. because she was respected when she became a mother, my mother. we say respect mother. we never say respect the father? why? because he is THE father, he is already respected you see, he is a MAN." so i guess its really important for us to know that there is no respect on the base itself. Whatever you build on that wont suffice.

What kind of belief systems are being percolated in the next generations? If a boy sees his sister is not treated equally, you are raising a man who will tell his wife the same thing. The problem is in the kind of male mentality we are generating and what we have already received from our surroundings. the stares that a girl stands everyday would certainly give chills to a guy, i bet!

I have stayed a while in Gujarat, specially Ahemdabad. the kind of freedom and secure environment i saw there , i cant even think of having the same thing in Delhi for sure. when u have your FEMALE Chief Minister telling you that gals should not try and be adventurous (ohh man! not every one has the govt cars and security you see )when the lady was just returning home from her job....

I agree times are changing but i also see people as in the male species doesn't seem to be changing much. the jobs are no longer the 9-5 ones:as we had in good old times. you need to work hard and work long to get the moolah now a days. for a girl you cant change the timings? Rather than stopping girls from going to places at times, i guess we need to make these places safer for women.

when people talk about the Indian culture, i wanna quiz them on what they actually know about the Indian culture?Are they again gonna dissect our Indian culture into Mughal, Portugese, Afghanian and the British culture?? That's what the history says right??

The political moral custodians are merely portraits of the hypocritical nature of the outdated value systems in the changing society. i see it as a confused state of mind in which a person relies on the past more than on their own school of thoughts and the present scenario. The least we can do is stand for our self  and ensure what are we passing for the generations to come.!!

the interview.....i hope u like it!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHwLWU9fXRk

(i bet if raghu was in the studio, things wud have settled in a better way! :))

Finding Your Inner Self

People say we all are living in a world of noises and chaos.

A journey inside urself can make u realise how u are such a different human being than what u actually perceive. I had an experience which i wont loose out by explaining it here because  i think explaining it would be the worst i could do to it and  me; But it just made me wonder how different i am in way i see of myself an what i really am.

I may not really know even now what i am but to give yourself that "a gift" of silence.

Letting  your  inner self speak up....just wanna say thank you  to Mr. Satya Paul.....without this meeting with you, i would have lost some important moments of being with me.......my self!!!